Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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