But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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