im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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