So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
