Got a toothbrush?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
