is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
