Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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