Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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