The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
