my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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