Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
