Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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