at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
