I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
