i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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