bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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