You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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