I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize