You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
