I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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