Soap is not a condiment
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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