just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
