Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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