If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
