Me too!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
