I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
