I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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