Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
