No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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