We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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