Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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