Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
