We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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