I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize