I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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