Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
