Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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