He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
