hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
