Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
