It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
