Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pants are for mortals
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
