what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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