Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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