guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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