i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize