i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Fuck appropriateness.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
