Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
