I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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