Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
