just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
