stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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