Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
