can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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