haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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