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I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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