i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize