shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
